Healing Your Church Hurt by Stephen Mansfield

Healing Your Church Hurt by Stephen Mansfield

If there was ever a time the right book came to me at the right time it is this one. Healing Your Church Hurt by Stephen Mansfield is an excellent book on the subject everyone of us in church deals with but afraid to even mention it. If you have been attending church or a member of your church for any length of time you have run into it. Experienced it. Endured it. Broken by it. Bitter because of it. Even turned away from God because of it. Its not God's Word that hurt you in a bad way. Nothing from the Bible. In fact, most of us would admit we would rather be smacked in the face with a Bible than being hurt from an insensitive word from a fellow brother or sister in Christ.

Our expectations of church and how it is supposed to be and operate are so much different than the realities each one of us experience. We look at God's house as a fortress. One we can run into for protection, for love, for kindness, for learning, for encouragement or just plain hide. We do not enter these divine gates for ridicule, distrust and out right cruelty. But if you are a true church goer you have in fact experienced the downside and the dark-side of the church.

My church hurts, and I do mean hurts, run deep to my very core. Dare I say even to my soul. That in fact is true. It is when such hurts which we perceive as inflicted upon us by another begin to slowly at first infect our souls with bitterness. A bitterness from Satan himself. Like a cancer growing undetected until it appears too late. We are so bitter that the church now begins to represent the very thing that causes us pain. Anything associated with it now becomes a cruel reminder to us.

Author Stephen Mansfield hits it on the head. How we go beyond the memories and continue to re-live the very thing, memory, situation, people and persons that deepen the wound and place ourselves in the very dark pit we desire to escape. He refers to it as, “The Season of Hell.” Through the course of the book I was determine to use the principals used and taught by the author. Regardless of the pain I knew and did feel through my own personal Season of Hell it had to be done. Which in turn prepared me for the next Church Hurt.

This book is for 99% of those who have called church home. There is no doubt in my mind that anyone has been so perfect not to have experienced a Church Hurt that cuts them down to their knees.

I personally have had to re-read many of the parts of this book. Revisit my Season of Hell on occasion. I can safely say I can remember the events, people, the words and the physical pain deep within my heart. But I no longer re-live them. No longer let the teeth of the trap inject the poison of bitterness continually into my soul without my permission any more.

Is this a life changing book? For me, Yes. Going deep into scripture to the very Hebrew and Greek words originally used. Learning and applying God's Word directly into my life. Seeing the reality of the situations. Addressing why I would even consider the opinions of such people valid or of any value to me? Many of those who speak do so without knowing or caring at the time. As they go through life it becomes second nature to them. The bitterness pouring out of them without question. Ask them to pass the salt and they find some way of releasing some of the bitterness at you like some splattering water balloon. Trying to get everyone wet.

I have always had a problem with authority. Nearly everyone I have met who had some title never was able to live up to it. In fact, many of which are just the opposite and determine to hinder anyone who dares to work towards achieving more and helping others to do the same. One thing I have learned from this book that those within the church are held to a higher authority than the rest of us. They often forget it is God they serve. It is God they must answer too. We too forget. For we too answer to God. The wicked things we do even if we are unaware have consequences that we will be judged for. The problem is we are too afraid to make known or to call another out when obviously what they are doing or done is wrong according to scripture. The procedure for such is spelled out plainly in God's Word. Still we, as well as I. have become to afraid to do it. It is simpler to just leave and hop to another church.

In his book Stephen Mansfield gives us the blueprint on what questions must be answered before joining a church. Before leaving your church and searching for another. Going beyond the entertainment factor to the heart of service. Is your church preparing you for the work of the Kingdom? This question must be answered by each of us.

This book is worth twice its costs. I find it a much needed part of the puzzle in my daily walk with Christ. Church hurts will continue to come. You will not be able to avoid them unless you have taken the easy way out and left the very brothers and sisters that need you. Ones you have not even met yet. 

The Corporate Church:

It is a little obvious to my readers that I am not a supporter of the modern corporate church model. I am not alone. Authors Thomas White and John M Teats of the book “Franchising McChurch.” Tony and Felicity Dale of the book “the Rabbit and the Elephant, Why small is the new big for today's church.” First we need to clarify what is the modern corporate church model. Just a few short decades ago in fact the corporate buffet of the 90's was a time when corporate America was at its peak. Mega corporations buying out other mega corporations became the primary news feature each night. With that also came to view the birth of the mega-church. The bigger is better attitude for a new generation of Christians. These churches existed long before the media took notice. The push for more came with the media wave of influence. Suddenly the non-profit corporation of the new face of Christianity was looking much like corporate America. That is exactly what happen. We quickly went from seeking redemption to seeking ratings. From worship to entertainment. Growing even bigger today.

So D. C. what is wrong with that? More are coming to Christ right? With numbers in the thousands you would think so. It is agreeable that a mega-church begins with a congregation of 2,000 or more. Many support congregations of 5,000 to 50,000. On the surface that is something to celebrate. With that comes the sucking sound of small local community churches forced to close their doors for lack of funds to keep the lights on. We see a similar effect on the down town districts of towns and cities when Wal-mart opens its doors. The local mom and pop stores which have been family owned and operated for generations fall like dominoes. Call it an ending of an era. Might want to call it the ending of our neighborhoods as we once knew them.

So what is your problem D.C.? This is a world of progress. The church needs to grow just like the world right? There is the problem. The church conforming to the world when the world needs to conform to the church. Is bigger better? Did not the church grow in the Book of Acts with the same numbers of converts that we are talking about within the mega-church? Yes, I would have to agree, but that is where the similarities begin to separate. How so?

A business owner, an accountant, or even a CEO would look at today's modern church and see little difference between the American Corporate Business model and today's corporate church model. To conform to IRS regulations the hierarchy is the same. Committee members are formed from people within the congregation who's only real experience is with dealing with corporate America. Therefore the result is a church run like an American corporation. Expecting profit and loss. Wait a minute! We are Christians. We are not producing some type of widget or product. We are in a battle that is in fact life or death. How can that be put down on a balance sheet? Does the church have expenses? Absolutely, the bigger the church the more the costs are to operate. Not much head scratching on that. So what is our goal? What is our purpose?

That is where we have taken a wrong turn some where. I agree with Pastor Ray Comfort. (Way of the Master, Living Waters Ministries) Today's modern gospel has become about life enhancement and not about repentance.

Let's talk turkey. Let's get down to brass tax here. Should we dismantle our mega-churches and return to small community churches? No. Let me put it this way. Noah built the boat, but it was God who gave it to him. By doing so saving all of us. We built these mega-churches, but it is God who gave them to us. Is our purpose to save the world? It should be. Seek and save the lost. Sounds simple and with these mega resources we should be more capable of doing just that for God. Are we?

One of the problems with mega-churches is the disconnect problem. Being so big one can easily hide if not be lost in the crowd. Crying out for help among the roar of others. One can easily be left behind. That is the difference between the church in the Book of Acts and today's modern corporate church model. The focus was on the needs of the people and not of one's self. This is extremely hard for us now since we live in a materialism based culture and society. We have become backwards and upside down.

Let us talk about solution then. OK, let's say a mega-church of 2,000 sets a goal of each member witnessing to others for at least 3 new converts each. By the end of the year the church would have a congregation of 6,000. Do it again for the following year and you would have 18,000 members. Sounds great on paper. Witnessing and revival are not the mainstream we are seeing. Keyword here: “Witnessing.” Being a witness for Christ. Simple, straight forward and obeying the Great Commission.

Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.
Matt 28:19-20 (NLT)

Therefore our focus should be on witnessing for Christ. We need to teach it. We need to practice it. We need lead in doing it.

The goal should not be “Bigger is Better.” The goal should be to witness better and for His Kingdom to become bigger here on earth.

Team up, Set-up and get into the fight. <><

America's not Wanted

Clothing giant, or former giant, American Apparel Inc. is slowly falling away into corporate American history. I would like to say because of poor sales. The truth is CEO and founder Dov Charney had a great idea. American made clothing for sale here in America. What a contrarian way of thinking. The road to success has been marred with lawsuits and other shall we say suspicious business practices and colorful press.
Mr. Charney fits the world's view of success. With 10,000 employees world-wide. Taking his company public in 2007. Winning fashion awards. Named Entrepreneur of the Year in 2004 among other titles. Yet the company has fallen on hard times lately.

Debt is killing the company as is our nation. American Apparel's debt has increased to over 120 million dollars. Its stock dropping to record lows.

As a Christian, why should we care? This corporate sad story is an example of what is going wrong in our country. American made has little or no meaning right here in America. American icon Warren Buffet in the September 2010 issue of Smart Money magazine noted his suit with a China label.

What about our Christian label? I have been told that 80% to 90% of our communications with one another is by sight or by body language. That makes sense with how the world looks at us as Christians.

We are seen heading for church on Sundays to get our religious fix then live like the world till next Sunday. Might not be fair but that is how we are seen. The church used to be the center of the local community. Kids did not have many places to go for fun. So they went to their local church. Society did not have many social activities to be distracted by so they went to church. If there was a problem in the community people looked to the church for help, guidance and action. Today it seems the church is competing with local movie theaters, the mall, sports and even bass fishing. It has become about entertainment and not the salvation of one's soul. Not about standing for God, but standing for yourself. Self-serving and more predictable each day. Satan likes that.

We (Americans) want to look better. Live better. Have bigger and better things and stuff. We will undercut our own nation for it. Why pay more for American Made clothes when you can get them cheaper from overseas. Why run a company with focus and purpose when living the American dream is the name of the game for those sitting at the TOP. Even a house of debt must come down someday. When Mr. Dov Charney jumps out with his golden parachute what will happen to the other 10,000 employees? Thanks doll for giving us the shaft?

As Christians, what can we do? What should we do? Back in my grandfather's day the church was not afraid of being politically correct. If the town was corrupt the voice of the pulpit spoke load and clear for all to hear. Not just for the church congregation. Protest did bring the entire congregation down to city hall in a moments notice. Today we are lucky if a few citizens even show up for a city council meeting.

We need to get back into the face of society. Jesus did not preach in a safe and comfortable establishment. He ate and drank with society's worst. Why? Who needed to be saved? Those who knew or should have known God or those with a front row ticket straight to Hell?

We want to be nice. We want to avoid offending people. If your neighbor's house was on fire would you casually walk over there and please ask if you could step inside and save them? No, we would rush in there and drag them out kicking and screaming. If they wanted to run back into the flames then that would be a different story. Yet, some will listen to the Gospel and then run right back into the flames.

Time to team up. Set up and get into the fight.

Amen. D C McKay <><

Idolatry

This is not the article you think it should be. The question has come up. Have I committed idolatry? The answer is YES. Look at my writings over the past few years. You see a pattern. I am very quick to defend pastors and preachers. Therefore have I placed my pastor on a pedestal? When have we not? It makes me think do I want to become a pastor? If you had asked me that question 6 months ago I might of answered yes. Ask me that today and I would diffidently say No. What I want is to be what every pastor and preacher aspires to be a servant of God. By idolizing the position of pastor we have done all we can in preventing this man of God from in fact serving God.

Pastors receive enough pressure from associations, periodicals and other pastors on growing their congregations. Look at the back of a baseball card. We Americans are obsessed with numbers. When it comes to church and determining how well a pastor is doing we look at “the numbers.” You know what I am talking about. Numbers published on how many baptisms your church had last year. How many new church members, attendance records, Sunday School enrollments, and let’s not forget the most important one, MONEY. Money received. Money given. Money spent on church operations, buildings, maintenance and so on. Just where in the Bible does it state that is how we measure the success of a pastor? Where?

I am guilty too. Thinking my pastor has some obligation to me to listen to my whining. We expect our pastor to be on call 24/7 without any thought to their families and personal life. Don’t get me wrong. I agree that the Christian life and being a servant is a life of servitude and poverty. Look at the recipe for failure we as followers of Christ have created for pastors. We demand them to have an education that surpasses any CEO of a Fortune 500 company. They need to be great communicators with the ability to draw in the masses like a celebrity. They need to be the CFO so the money is better spent. A degree in counseling and we expect them to repair our marriages and relationships within minutes that took years to destroy. Did I forget to mention years of experience too? How can one man be expected to meet such expectations?

We measure the success of a pastor by the numbers. When the church is packed and the money is flowing in everything seems to be great. Do we dare say a blessing? Sounds like college football to me. One losing season and you are out. When did corporate America suddenly dictate how the church is to be conducted? Have we moved from church members to shareholders? Are we looking for serving Christ and saving the lost or just looking for a return on our investment? I cannot tell you how many church meetings I have attended that spent more time reviewing a balance sheet than focusing on missions or discipleship.

How do we measure the success of a pastor? The same way we should measure the success of a church.

1. Is the pastor’s faith stronger with the Lord than when he first begun? Whatever the answer we as a congregation need to minister to our ministers.
2. Is the congregations’ walk with the Lord stronger now than before? Ask the Sunday School teachers and they will tell you who is thirsting for God’s Word and who is there for the social meeting.
3. Is the congregation participating in worship? Ask the choir members for they see first hand who is engaged in worship and who is there for the entertainment value.
4. Are lay leaders being trained and actively involved in part of the overall ministry of the church?
5. Is there an active new church member class being conducted each month?
6. Is the church supporting the development and making opportunities for members to enter into the ministry?
7. Is outreach a habit of the congregation rather than a chore?
8. Is the church actively involved in new church planting or a cooperative program?
9. Is the church part of the local neighborhood or part of the highway road show with signs rivaling those of an Indian Casino or Wal-mart?
10. Do the sermons contain more text from God’s Word than jokes and illustrations?

Not one of these 10 measurements involves the American Corporate yardstick of what they call success. Just ask a cattle rancher. You might have more cows than the other ranch but that does not mean better beef. You need to decide if your goal is raising hamburger or steak.

If you agree or disagree with me have the guts to leave a comment. Just click the comments link below.